Aug 26th 2017

Baby,
I am sorry that it has been so long since I have posted. Adjusting to a new schedule and being sick this week was been kinda rough. I have been pretty tired in the evenings and I try to put as much heart and feeling into each one of my posts. I don't like to necessarily post unless I have enough energy to explore my feelings for you.

You are the same way when you post to me and I love it.

I had a blast with you all this week baby girl. It has been so much fun playing Diablo. I love just hanging out with you. Last night on TS was a lot of fun too. You really were the bell of the ball. The spotlight was on you and you looked beautiful!

This week has been so much fun. I have loved calling you from work really quickly just to say Hi. Its been so awesome skyping with you for a little bit in the mornings, and I love falling asleep with you at night. I have felt very close to you and I can tell you have felt closer to me too. You have asked me a couple things, and told me a couple things that you would of only shared if you felt safe with me.

That feeling of safety you have with me is something I DO NOT dismiss. That is one of the most important and beautiful gifts I have ever been given. I will guard it with my life.

I am proud of us for making it through some difficult times. Granted I do NOT think these times would of been difficult if we were together but it has taught us how to communicate better, how to understand each other and work through a wide array of different feelings. This bodes well for our future and has caused me to think a lot about forgiveness.

Baby girl, I don't remember what our fights were about. It is all in the past. I am not bringing up the past at all. We have both forgiven each other. I think the act of forgiveness is something that we are both good at it, and I have thought a lot about what true forgiveness is.

I'll spare you the long drawn argument I have but the basics are this: :)

Forgiveness is something that you give. It isn't about making me feel better its about making the other person feel better. It is an act of love because you hate seeing the other person suffer for mistakes that they made. That suffering isn't aleviated when the past is always brought up. I want you to know that I really don't remember the reasons why we have fought in the past. I have erased them from my memory. You, baby girl, have never ever brought up something that I have done from the past.

Forgiveness is a gift we give out of love for the other person. We set aside our hurt because we don't want the other person to suffer. In that act of selflessness, love mends our wounds too.

I am so grateful that you love me so much that you forgive me for mistakes that I make. I am grateful that we both love each other so much that we would never intentionally hurt each other but we make mistakes. And the thought of the other suffering is more painful than our own suffering.

This to me is a sign of our radical empathy, love and compassion for each other. We have so much potential and I am so grateful for the love we share. It inspires me. It energizes me, It rejuvenates me and It is all because of you. I love you always.

PS..... If we get a pet can we name him Elon? lol :)

It Gets Beeettttteeerrr!!

Hey! (Sorry my writing is a disorganized mess)

So, we started playing Diablo III together and OHMYGAWD I'm so excited! Like you have no idea how excited (this is nothing) and I get to do it with you!

I just slapped my hand away from clicking on the game cause I wanna wait to do it with you but gosh so hard!
If anything though I'm surprised. I'm pretty picky with the music I listen to, games I play, guys I date... You're good.

Real good.

So far you've shown me things that I've been pretty interested in (Yes Mr. Robot included) and for me that's hard to do. I'm so glad we have similar interests and ideas and that we can ramble and MARS!

Just got off the phone with you, I can basically hear you smile... I think you're awesome Adrian.  Awe I love you. Pew! Heart flutters *ahem* anyways!

I'm rambling. Sorry. This is what happens when I'm left to my own devices. I hope you have a good day at work, and that you don't mind the teasing too much heh.

You mentioned not to play Diablo, you know I forgot about it for a little there and now I am once again resisting the urge. AH! So, we will get into watching the show again I promise. Maybe when we reach a hard level or something... I'm way too excited about the game. About really playing with you! Like ships is cool and all but I think RPG's are even better with the whole "us" factor which I really dig. Also I can pretend to follow you around and get all up in your personal space.

You didn't hear that from me!

Baby, I don't wanna look at the past arguments that we had or anything. I just wanna keep going forward.

I wanna keep going with you.

I was thinking, our love will keep the bad weather out :)

P.S No I didn't forget. I just like my posts to really come from the heart and well, I was a bit sad and all but like I said, moving forward. 💖😻

Aug 19 2017 | Robots, Dreams and Promises.

Betsyboo

Hey baby girl. Right now you are sleeping and on the line with me I am so damn excited to fall asleep with you with this connection. I love feeling like i am connected to you. I sleep so much better when you are on the phone with me like this, imagine when we are finally together and can fall asleep in each others arms, and there remain for the whole night. That will be one of the best days of my life, without question.

I can't wait for that moment, but I will. I will wait for as long as necessary to make that dream a reality.

Dream....My dream girl. Sometimes I can't believe that you are real and mine. How did I get so lucky? I love it when you call me "My Adrian" or "My Baby" or "My Man". Mmmm Baby girl there is nothing sweeter sounding than your voice  saying my name. When you say it there is a simple and powerful conviction in your voice declaring it to be true.

Betsy, you are mine, and I am yours. You are my Betsy. You are my girl. You are my girlfriend and that makes me so much happier than I have ever been. I love you to much to ever let you go. I love you to much to ever leave you. I love you to much to let go of your hand once I am holding it. I love you to much to make a promise I can't keep.

I promise you that we will be together no matter what. I promise you that we are at the beginning of the rest of our lives together. I simply cannot imagine an existence worth occupying without my precious and perfect-for-me Betsy being snuggled up against me.

I enjoyed our few minutes on video today. It felt so good to laugh with you and see your smile. Do you have any idea how much I love your smile? You don't, but I wish you did. I love your laugh. I love how easily you can make me laugh and smile. I love returning the favor.

I was so happy when you decided to watch Mr Robot with me. I had a lot of fun watching and I am excited to watch more of it with you tomorrow.

Can I just say.... BOOOYAAA! IN YO FACE! I KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE THAT SHIT!! There was no way I was going to give up until you had at least watched the first few scenes. Thank you baby girl for giving it a try. Means a lot to me.

You were so hot tonight playing with me in bed after. I love you to much and am way to attracted to you to settle for a boring sex life with you. I promise you to put effort into every aspect of our relationship so that we may never stagnate. I will always be on the lookout for new ways to keep our love growing and expanding.

Baby I need you. You need me. We need each other and there can be nothing more perfect than that.

I love you my Betsy boo.

Love

Your Adrian

PS. I just got out of bed to get some ice water. I was laying in bed listening to you, and I started talking quietly to you because I don't want to wake you. The words that were coming to me need to be shared with you because they mean so much to me.

You are such a blessing in my life, and if that weren't enough the blessing is made infinitely more precious because I am in love with you just as much as you are with me. You are such a beautiful and significant part of who I am now and it is the greatest thing in the world to be madly and undeniably in love with my best friend. You have given me more reason to smile and laugh than anyone ever has. It is such a wonderful thing to have you to daydream about. I love thinking about all the different ways I can say I love you. I love thinking about your smile, and your eyes and your voice. I love thinking about making you laugh. I am so thrilled that I am your man. It makes me feel so special that I get to think about you. I love that it is my responsibility to take care of your heart and I want you to know how important you are to me. I want to tell you that I have taken you by the hand and I will lead us to incomprehensible joy and unity if you will be my equal partner in all things. I will be your man and all that entails if you will be my girl.

Aug 18 2017

Hey baby.... by the way... I have told you how proud I am of you going into the navy but I don't think I have ever told you how appreciative i am of your service to protect the rights that I am so passionate about... the rights that I see being violated every day by the government, and police. The rights that are sold by international monetary funds, central banks and pseudo-private corporations. 

This is why I choose to flex these rights for the sole purpose of protecting them. That is why your sacrifice is inspiring to me. 

You are a giant in many ways and I am so honored that I get to walk with you, hand in hand, through the eternities. 

I love you baby girl. 

Arguments....and Love

So we are arguing right now...as I type (you were right).

It's sorta distracting me from getting mad honestly so I'll just type about how much I love you.

I would be willing to go back to you time and time again no matter how upset you got, and tell you about what happens in my life cause I think you deserve to know.

You called me your girlfriend and are now going off about how gorgeous I am! So sweet.... don't think I'll negate that.

There's a few things that come with being my boyfriend...
I'm always late! I can't help it! It's like in my genes and It's up to you to make sure I'm on time!
Would really appreeecciiaatteee iiitt!!

There's also way more like my evil middle of the tube squeezing! But let's not talk about that you'll find out lol.

You might too when you figure out how late I can be. Sorry in advance lol!

Okay how to love me...

1. I really have no clue!
2. Cuddle me lots I think
3. Small things are the best! Little notes etc.
4. Do chores with me. We both hate em but it shows me you care ;3
5. Sleep with me always so I can wake up close to you...
6. Uhm... Let me have PC time! You can be near me of course cause I love you but I also need to hardcore game.

That's all I can think of for now... If I think of more I'll continue but I'm not so complicated.

How to make me grumpy

Things that annoy me

1. People with no common sense.
2. People that complain way too much. Some is okay, but all the time sucks.
3. People that are too set in their ways.
4. One uppers
5. People that are "always right"
6. People that are nosey
7. liars
8. ....to be continued!

Aug 17th 2017 | Thank You

Dearest Betsyboo,

Just a short and sweet little note saying thank you. I want to lay down with you because you are already sleeping and your breathing has me longing to fall asleep with you. I love the way you sound when you sleep, the little noises you make are so inviting. Mmmm baby girl I want you to be my body pillow every night.

Thank You for dropping down to a lower tier today when we were playing ships. That was such a sweetheart move. I really appreciated it and didn't get a chance to tell you earlier.

Thank You for sending me that pic of ASOIAF today. It made me smile and feel loved and thought about.

Thank You for skyping with me, and letting me watch that show with you. I like it. I want to know what happens. Hopefully we can watch more tomorrow night.

Thank You for being you. I know how special you are. I know how beautiful your heart is. I know how silly you can be. I know how thoughtful you can be. I know you are the love of my life.

Aug 16 2017 | How To Love Pieces Up

Baby, I love the way you write. I am excited to get more love notes and letters from you. I love what you wrote me yesterday. What you wrote me yesterday will stay in my heart forever. I am sure I will have the entire thing memorized in a day or two from reading it so many times. I am going to love you with every once of my being forever. I love you bits.

I am sorry for being salty as fuck today about ships. I am so damn grateful that you didn't get mad or upset. Thank you for not taking any of that as an attack on you. I have to apologize though because I feel really bad about how much I bitched about it to you.

Baby girl, you are not an empathy wimp!, You have become an empathy giant towards me and I am so appreciative and feel so special because of you. I couldn't be more proud of my baby girl, I couldn't be more grateful for my baby girl. I look up to you for many things and this is one of them.

When I realized how bummed out I got when you ditched me that very first time we played together I realized that was the root of feeling like you hated playing with me. Once I identified it, processed it through what I now know about my baby girl, I let it go. Because baby I can see that you do like playing with me. I am sorry I held on to that for so long. I love playing ships with you now. I can get rid of that bullshit narrative in my head. I want to ship with you RIGHT NOW in fact. I love you so much. I fucking adore you. I love you and I love us and I love the house we are building.

....almost forget... I love you :)

So I will make a different list for when we are together. Here are some ideas for how to love me up. Any one of these will melt my heart coming from you.

1. Randomly call any time day or night and finish 1 or more of these sentences.

• I love you because...
• You are cute when...
• I thought about us when...
• Remember that time you...
• You make me feel special when...
• I am excited about our future because...

2. Text me or call and tell me about a link that you visited that I sent you, and what you thought about it (Good, Bad or Indifferent)

3. Tell me forcefully and with urgency that you have to see me right now because...
(Then video with me or come see me/meet me someplace when we are together)

4. Randomly say thank you, you appreciate me putting effort into...something that is for you or us.

5. Write a hand written love note and snail mail it or take a pic of it and email it/post it

6. Stop a fight in its tracks. In the middle of an argument or misunderstanding, in your most loving and caring voice tell me that you love me to much to fight with me,

7.  Pick out a movie for us to watch online together. Doesn't matter what movie...I like any excuse to spend time with you.

8. Brag about me to someone close to you, then call me and tell me all about it.

9. A selfie a day keeps the lonely away (well, kinda but it helps a lot... and it makes me feel special)

10. Ask questions about my opinions, feelings or thoughts on anything that is important to you

11. Share with me your opinions, feelings or thoughts on anything important to me.

12. Div with me and during just one game be completely positive, no banter. Then...let the banter fly!

13. Keep a running inside joke on ships with me.

14. Do some online window shopping for me. Send me screen shots of the outfits you pick out for me.

15. When you see something while out and about that reminds you of me, take a picture and send it. Tell me why it reminds you of me.

16. Call me and tell me something that I offer you that no one else can

17. Call me and tell me that you are proud of me for something

18. Teach me something new or learn something new with me.

19. Tell me something about yourself that no one else knows

20. Take a picture of yourself smiling while we are on the phone so I can see how happy I make you.

21. Video chat with me and when you answer be wearing something cute and playful. (cute PJ's and a thong) tease me then please me :)

22. Text me after you masturbate to me and tell me what you fantasized about

23.Snail mail me a picture of you

24. Remember Something I Said… and follow up with it later.

25. Read to me

26. Play your favorite song and let me watch you dance to it.

27. Share with me why you chose me out of everyone else.

28. Tell me about a time when you felt so loved from me you cried.


Things that annoy me.

1. Being late or waiting on people who are late.

2. When someone always has to be right. I don't care if I am right or wrong, I just want to know the truth. Doesn't matter if its a fact, statistic event etc.

3. People who have to 1-up you. You know the types. You tell a personal story, they tell a carbon copy version of the same story turned up to 11.

4. Arrogance + Ignorance. These are the folks who ignorantly hold on to a false belief while simultaneously declare all competing beliefs as false.

5. Being micro-manged.  Ohhhh fuckkk baby girl.... Grrrrr this one....!!!!!! I just pissed myself this one irritates me so much. Tell me what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, bonus points for why and get the fuck out of my way and leave me alone! This is why I HATE traditional jobs with traditional stupid-visors. . It is also a major contributor to my problem with authority. I don't need someone looking over my shoulder, telling me how to do something I already know how to do. I don't need you to be asking every 5 minutes how its going, I don't need help staying on task, It is not empowering me to rise to the occasion, it does not allow for personal growth and development, it stifles creativity and innovation. It is servile, degrading, and insulting. No Way.

which of course brings me to

6 Authority. I don't have a problem with having a 'higher-up' to answer to. There is always a boss, we all have someone to answer to. In addition social structures must have rules that protect the natural rights of all humans (and one could argue all sentient life)  humanity.  and to the extent that the rules are not excessive and only serve to protect the rights of the sovereign individual ......sorry, slipped into Epictetus there. That's my writer/blogger alter-ego lol. Authority bothers me when it is excessive and enforced by morons who over step their jurisdiction and don't adhere to the same code they 'protect'. Police, politicians, clergy, etc.

7. Chewing with your mouth open

8. Movies where the laws of physics are completely ignored. Ridiculous car jumps, The nigga with one hand gun who takes out an entire platoon of dudes with machine guns, never runs out of bullets and never gets shot. stuff like that. (Unless the movies do it on purpose )

9. Movies or books with gigantic plot holes.

10. Sitcoms, especially ones with canned laughter. Homeboy tells homegirl something 'funny' and the 'audience' laughs...OMFG if you ever need to tortue me, tie me up and make me watch a show that has that and I will speak before the gay-ass opening credits with the cheesy jingle is over

11. People who don't follow through with that in which they promised or agreed to do.

12. People who don't know the right-of-way at a 4 way stop.

13. People who lack common sense and reason

14. Not being told thank you after you do something for someone.

15. Squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle.

16. People who drive to slow on the freeway AND don't use turn signals to change lanes

I Wish...

I wish we could be together.
I wish I could show you how I feel better.
I wish my words would come out better.
I wish I was with you.
I wish I was in your arms right now.
I wish I was always cuddled on top of you.
I wish I never had to leave your side.

Gonna need a lot of these so the wishes come true!

Right now, that's not what we have. Right now we have our voices and our goofy looks, and even the ones that make us lose track of the conversation.

I want to show you how I feel better, I'm trying but... It's hard. I get scared sometimes when I mess up... But you're always really nice to me.
Sometimes that scares me more. Cause maybe you'll realize how great you are one day and leave me in the dust.
Now I know what's coming to me with the "don't you ever think that..." but I did. And I thought I would share because it's a way that helps me communicate with you better.
Yes its a silly fear, I know it's silly cause you're as likely to leave this as much as I'm likely to leave. Which isn't very likely at all. Just you know, don't kick a puppy or anything.
Puppies are cute.
You're cute too.
Does it count as kicking a puppy if I kick you? If you tickle me I cant promise I won't kick you.
Now what was I saying... I was scared... I was thinking... oh yeah!

You're so great.
You make me happy every morning when I wake up, I love seeing how long the phone call lasts the night before.
I love waking up tp your (mostly) silly texts.
My baby rambles a lot haha!

I can't wait for the day where I can wake up next to you though..
I wish that day was already here.

I don't like when I hurt your feelings though. I try not to...cause well....
You're great. There's no other way I can really say it!
But I love you and I care. I have kinks to work out though, I hope that's okay.

I wish to make myself better for you. For us.

Aug 14 2017 | today

Today you got two gifts that I sent you.
A silver bullet, and some flags for world of warships.
I was so excited that you were excited.
I was thrilled when you asked me if I wanted to video chat with you. Its been awhile since you asked me, so it felt really damn good. It felt good to feel wanted.

I hope those flags I got you help you reach your money goal in ships.

Some shit happened this evening on ships, nothing that a simple "I am sorry and I understand" wouldn't of fixed it. I came to you and told you how I felt. It felt like rather than understanding me, you minimized my feelings as unjustified and told me that I should just "...only play when I want because you know I don't like the game" and that you "have just as much fun playing with me as without me."

I like your company. I play ships because I like playing with you. If you are just as happy playing with me as without me... why am I playing at all? I wonder if you would play a game with me just to spend time with me, even though it wasn't your favorite? Sadly, I don't think you would.

I don't hate world of warships, but you are right, I don't like playing it all that much when I am not playing it with you. I do it because I love you, and I like seeing you happy and feel special. If you really don't care if I play or not (since you are just as happy either way) then I might as well delete it. Except.... sometimes its the only time I get to hear your voice....

Its not easy coming to you with this stuff sometimes. You tell me I can come to you with anything, so I try to... and you take it as an attack rather than a supplication from a loving boyfriend to his loving girlfriend.

I half expect this to piss you off. Please don't let it. I know for a fact if you came to me because you felt left out, sad or disappointed I would never tell you...fine, do whatever you want. I would feel bad because my viewpoint is not your reality. I would apologize sincerely because you felt the way you did. You would never have to ask me to say sorry.

Baby you have so many amazing qualities and I love you deeply. I want to spend time with you. You love me like no one has. I love laughing with you, you have a great sense of humor. I like when we get into deep conversations, and I like when our conversations are just plain silly. I admire how good you are at world of warships....envy it even. I know we can't always be in the same div, but I would feel awful if you felt left out because of something I may or may not have done. I would feel horrible and want you to know that I never ever intended for you to feel that way. If I knew you were playing a game that you just mildly liked because you wanted to spend time with me, doing something that I love....... I'd say thank you once in awhile and try to make sure you got to play on my team as much as reasonably possible.

I love you. Don't push me away and make it harder to come to you with stuff like this. Please? Just love me. We are on the same team.... This is not a personal attack... I don't even want to post this and I am probably going to regret it later.

I am really close to just deleting ships if you dont care if I play or not...even though it would mean less time together because you told me you don't care if I play with you or not.

I love you so much. I love you with all my heart. You are perfect for me....but we need to grow together not apart. Help me to grow with you, now away from you.

Your Man

Aug 2017 | Blueprints To Our House

Baby Girl.
I love us. I love how much we care about each other. How we both are becoming better for each other and not because we are being forced to, rather we want to be our best selves for each other. I love the patience we have for each other and the empathy and I love how much we are growing together in that area.  I have no doubts about us and I want to show you why. It is my hope  this will help you understand something a bit deeper in regards to my love for you. I hope this helps you understand me better and how much I just fucking adore you.

Relationships in all their forms are like houses. They are built with various ideas and emotions that I call concepts. Each concept is a brick (or smaller piece of) of the house.

Relationships that stand the tests; time and turbulence, are built with strong foundation concepts that then allow for new layers to be securely constructed on previous layers. The end result is a strong house, built to last for a very long time, optimized for joy and fulfillment.

Our house is very strong It may not seem like it sometimes but it is.  pay attention to the order in which I put these.

1. Fondness for each other.

I am fond of your personality. You are good company. You are clever intelligent and kind. You have interesting things to say. I enjoy being around you. Your soul puts my soul at at ease.

2. Shared Interests.

We have so many shared interests. I smile everytime I think about it. Video games, computers, writing, technology, tinkering, art, history, learning and education, Game of Thrones, stand up comedians, cuddling, swords and quandtum mechanics are just a few that come to my mind.
-Fondness makes it possible for us to explore our interests together. We like being together and doing the same stuff.

3. Respect

When we spend time together exploring our interests it has given us the chance to talk about the things we value the most. We have learned to trust each others opinions, ideas and feelings especially when they don’t match up with our own. This is huge.

4. Trust

Talking about difficult things has given me the chance to see how much you respect my feelings. You don’t just listen to them You consider them. We both do. We aren’t perfect but we are both trying. Seeing our feelings and perceptions respected has helped us build incredible amounts of trust in each other.

5. Morals

When we trust each other it is easier to discuss big ideas. We have almost identical moral compasses This reinforces all the layers of our house because we almost always will agree on what is right, and what is wrong. What is good, and what is bad.

6. Empathy

All of the previous levels have prepared us to practice true empathy. It isn't enough to just listen to each other anymore. We want to truly understand each other and relate to each other. We care about each other on very deep levels and want to help each other succeed and feel actualization.

7.Familiar love

True empathy is the gateway to a particular kind of love that is very powerful. Call it best friend love or brother/sister love. At familiar love we made unspoken commitments to each other that you are a priority in my life, and I yours. 

8. Attraction

FUCK BABY.... You've seen my attraction squirt out of me so many times... nuff said :) When this comes first in a relationship house, the house well fall. We are lucky enough to have no choice in where this concept-brick goes. This also reinforces the shit out of our house, especially considering how strong of a foundation its built on. 

9. Romantic love

This is where we are. We are built on a strong foundation. Our house will survive the storms of life. We have built something incredible together. This is why I have such hope in us. This is why I don't let myself ever say that we should end our relationship... because our house is too perfect and you are a once in a lifetime catch and we love each other to bits and pieces. 

I love you so much. I dont doubt us. You are my whole world.
Love
Me

August 12 2017 | The first stirrings of us

Forever Remembered | August 9 2017

You are priceless to me. You deserve the very best. A man who always puts in as much effort as he can. I believe WE are worth all the effort that has been put into us. There is no one else in this world who could of stolen my heart they way you did. For this I will always be indebted to you. Thank You. 

Sometimes the most sentimental words spoken to each other have been in random chat. I wanted to go through and look at all our conversations from the beginning of time and take a snapshot of the ones that mean the most.

This is the beginning of that. I didn't make it back very far. It is going to be a big project but I think worth it. So that we may have our most touching moments to look back on and remember the beginning of You and I. 

God damn baby girl, i love you so much
You are so good to me
You take care of my heart
You go out of your way to make sure I am loved
You are my cheerleader
you are my confidant.
you are my comic relief
you are my best friend
you are always there for me o
You put up with my long ass text rants
You love me
you ....well.... you adore me. And that feels wonderful
__________________________________________

Thump-thump, thump-thump two hearts beating as one, walking the eternities together, outlasting even the sun, how the met was perhaps random but how they fell in love didnt happen by chance, when their souls came together their hearts began to dance and so it is, from the beginning of days, these star crossed lovers live in each others gaze. And with all their feelings so bright and true, one thing is certain my Betsy-Boo, you are meant for me and I belong to you
__________________________________________

Baby I love you so much you mean so much to me it was so nice to be able to fall asleep with you last night. I need you in my life so bad I'm so frustrated because I don't have the words to tell you how much I care and how much you're love means to me. You're the dream girl that only exists in the farthest reaches of my dreams the ones that are so tender and so profoundly beautiful that anytime your mind touches on them you quickly pull your thoughts away because those stirrings of the imagination so very rarely come true and yet here you are pulled from those corners of my most protected hopes and thoughts given form and brought into my reality. The most exceptional and intensely amazing Dream Woman come true and she's in love with me
And I would do anything for her, for you. I give my life to you dear princess queen
I'll always be yours for as long as you will will have me I will never leave your side and I want you to know that when we argue my faith in us does not waver or falter or it does not alter course nor change direction it stays true and straight down the path that leads to a joy that you and I have never experienced before but my only experience together in the fullness of times and eternitees
I hope that we do find immortality together because I never want to be without you

__________________________________________

I can't make waffles in the morning without thinking that I wish I could make one for you too
Awww I like it when you are happy
God baby I love you so much. You are my Queen, and my queen rules the kingdom that is my heart

Oh yea... I am trying to nail down your style preference for a promise ring. Which of these do you like? The ones with the red and have your birthstone  and the one with red and blue has our stones. Mine is a diamond. 

1.

2.

3.

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Aug 6 2017 | More conversational starters.

Where do you want to live when we retire?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
What are your goals for this year?
What are your goals for before deployment ends?
What was your proudest moment?
Who do you consider as a role model?
What is your favorite childhood memory?
Describe your dream vacation.
Do you see yourself as an optimist, pessimist or realist, and why?
What do you pray about?
What’s something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do?
What board game do you hate the most?
Describe the worst haircut you’ve ever had.
What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
What is one thing you want to be remembered for?
On a scale from 1-10 what’s the highest level of pain you’ve ever been in?
What fashion trend do you wish would go away?
What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
Describe yourself in 3 words.
Describe me in 3 words.
What are two weaknesses you have?
How has your place in the birth order in your family impacted you as a person?
What are two things on your bucket list?
What is your biggest success?
What is your biggest regret?
How would you spend your 100th birthday?
What is your favorite family tradition?
What foods/drinks would you pack your ideal picnic basket?
Name three things we have in common.
What in your life do you feel most grateful for?
Tell me your life story in four minutes, with as much detail as possible.
What is one thing I don’t know about you?
What is one thing you want to do different from your parents?
What is the greatest strength of our relationship?

Sunday 8/6/17 | 10 Years From The Future.

It's Sunday, around 10:30 AM. Breakfast in bed was good. Thank you baby-girl. You didn't even burn the toast this time! I can't tell you how much it means to me when you make breakfast for me like this. It is so thoughtful of you to wake up early and take care of me like that. I know how hard it is to pull yourself out of my arms when they are wrapped around you so tightly. Especially after the marathon you and I had last night. By the way baby-girl, that thing you do with your tongue... wow! Its so hot, especially when you are looking up at me with those amazing, beautiful eyes of yours. Damn baby-girl I get lost in your eyes more times then you even know.

Do you remember the first time we kissed. I do. I will never forget how soft and delicious your lips felt on mine. It was so amazing to finally kiss those perfect lips after talking for all those months. Your kisses are as sweet as your voice, and your voice is as sweet as honey.

Honey... mmmm remember the first time you drizzled honey all over your body and let me lick it up. I said that really stupid joke about licking honey off my honey and thought it was clever. You just looked down at me, I was in between your legs. You rolled your eyes, smiled and said " A lifetime of those kinds of jokes won't get you laid as much as you hope". I laughed so hard. I had to come up and give you a kiss because you make me glow with the way you love me. You sucked the honey of my lips and then drizzled honey on me. That was so hot. I am so glad we keep honey in our nightstand now.

I am sitting next to you in our hobby room. You think I am working on the manga we are creating. It was such a good idea to write fan fiction together. I know I am behind on my side of it, but baby if I didn't take a few minutes to open up my heart to you... I was going to explode.  You look so  beautiful in your cute pajama shorts and tank top. I love watching you paint the scenes from our story. I just love watching you period. Even after all these years you still take my breath away. You are still the only woman in my universe. The very definition of love and beauty.

I still laugh to myself every time we sit down to work on this story. You were petrified to tell me that you like fan fiction back in the day. Remember? Silly! Who would of thought that one day we would be spending this much time on one of our own. It is a lot of work and that is just fine by me because this is a labor of love. Not so much love for the story but a love of being together and creating something together. Truth be told I hope we never finish this story because I have so much fun sharing this with you.

You are so beautiful. I am so grateful that you have put up with me all these years. I am so grateful for the way that you make me feel. I never imagined how happy I could be. You have taken care of my heart by showering me with your love and affection every single day. I am so intensely in love with you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Watching You Watch Me | Thursday, 8, 2017

Right now you are at your recruiters. 

Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you? I am super proud of you sweetheart. Ask me to tell you why I am proud of you tonight when I give you a kiss. I'd love to tell you all about it. 

Falling asleep next to you on cam was so peaceful. I was the only man in the world and, you were the only woman. We didn't sleep that long, but it was enough of a preview of things to come. I yearn for the mornings where we wake up next to each other, opening our eyes at the same time, we see each other. There in that moment, I am looking deep into your eyes, you looking deep into mine, we finally find the words that neither one of us have. The ones that describe perfectly how we feel about each other. We realize that those words only exist in silent moments like this. 

This is what I wrote to describe how I felt when I woke up and opened my eyes to see my baby girl, my Betsy Boo!

I opened my eyes,

barely alive, without you.

Feeling no pain, I'm not the same without you.

Watching you watching

me from afar, I'm mesmorized. Feeling as though

we've been here before. Know what I mean?

There's a river in your eyes and I'm swept away

Breaking inside out, promising to stay

Together again, a lifetime not stranded apart

Watching you watching

me from afar, I'm... reeling. Feeling as though

we've been here before. Know what I mean?

But your river calls to me and I'm swept away.

Breaking inside out, promising to stay

Together again, a lifetime not stranded apart

Love

Bits. 

Wednesday 27 2017 | Writers Block

Hey Baby Girl.

I love you so much.

Been thinking about this one for going on 2 days now..and I got nuffin!

This has been one of the worst case of writers block I have ever had. I am struggling with how much do I want to write, How much effort should I be putting into these things? What should I write that you will look forward to reading? Are you receiving at least the same amount of utility from this blog as I put into it? Where utility is defined as the advantage, pleasure, or fulfillment a person gains from obtaining or consuming a good or service.

If you aren't receiving at least the same amount of utility as I put into it, I get frustrated. If you expect more utility than you receive, you become frustrated. The whole point of this blog is to make it easier for us to communicate and stay in touch. A way to pass a digital love notes. A journal of us, and it became such a point of contention these past days it hurt the relationship more than helped it.

I am feeling temporarily discouraged as I have no idea what to write, how much effort to put into it, how often to post. I don't want to share any links to articles or videos with you. I am not even sure why I posted this really insightful video that could help us have a better relationship. I don't want you to think I am going to drop the blog or stop posting regularly because I won't. The blog is a great idea, and Ill work through the discouragement.

I love you so much. I am not upset with you at all. I just don't want to write something that is a chore for you to read...you know?