Aug 26th 2017

Baby,
I am sorry that it has been so long since I have posted. Adjusting to a new schedule and being sick this week was been kinda rough. I have been pretty tired in the evenings and I try to put as much heart and feeling into each one of my posts. I don't like to necessarily post unless I have enough energy to explore my feelings for you.

You are the same way when you post to me and I love it.

I had a blast with you all this week baby girl. It has been so much fun playing Diablo. I love just hanging out with you. Last night on TS was a lot of fun too. You really were the bell of the ball. The spotlight was on you and you looked beautiful!

This week has been so much fun. I have loved calling you from work really quickly just to say Hi. Its been so awesome skyping with you for a little bit in the mornings, and I love falling asleep with you at night. I have felt very close to you and I can tell you have felt closer to me too. You have asked me a couple things, and told me a couple things that you would of only shared if you felt safe with me.

That feeling of safety you have with me is something I DO NOT dismiss. That is one of the most important and beautiful gifts I have ever been given. I will guard it with my life.

I am proud of us for making it through some difficult times. Granted I do NOT think these times would of been difficult if we were together but it has taught us how to communicate better, how to understand each other and work through a wide array of different feelings. This bodes well for our future and has caused me to think a lot about forgiveness.

Baby girl, I don't remember what our fights were about. It is all in the past. I am not bringing up the past at all. We have both forgiven each other. I think the act of forgiveness is something that we are both good at it, and I have thought a lot about what true forgiveness is.

I'll spare you the long drawn argument I have but the basics are this: :)

Forgiveness is something that you give. It isn't about making me feel better its about making the other person feel better. It is an act of love because you hate seeing the other person suffer for mistakes that they made. That suffering isn't aleviated when the past is always brought up. I want you to know that I really don't remember the reasons why we have fought in the past. I have erased them from my memory. You, baby girl, have never ever brought up something that I have done from the past.

Forgiveness is a gift we give out of love for the other person. We set aside our hurt because we don't want the other person to suffer. In that act of selflessness, love mends our wounds too.

I am so grateful that you love me so much that you forgive me for mistakes that I make. I am grateful that we both love each other so much that we would never intentionally hurt each other but we make mistakes. And the thought of the other suffering is more painful than our own suffering.

This to me is a sign of our radical empathy, love and compassion for each other. We have so much potential and I am so grateful for the love we share. It inspires me. It energizes me, It rejuvenates me and It is all because of you. I love you always.

PS..... If we get a pet can we name him Elon? lol :)